I’m having one of those lazy Sundays where I’m laying in bed feeling guilty that I have Nothing to day…..like NOTHING to do!
Am I the only one who has these weird moments? I guess I should explain a little more of what I mean. So every day for the last 23 years of my life I’ve had to be conscious of some homework or assignment that I have to complete, either to get into a school, maintain my standing in a school or plan my next big adventure in my education. Now that I have a masters degree, I feel like I can just sit back and breath a bit.
I already have a full-time job of which I will be starting in July. I have a place to move, for the most part, I’m financially sound and….I don’t have to do anything for the next month besides work a few events for my new position in Pennsylvania and go to a conference. All of which are things that I love to do and don’t feel like they are “work.”
My stress levels are at an all-time high; I’m losing weight without even really having to do much and yet I’m feeling guilty because I’m relaxing….What is wrong with me? hahaha
I think its crazy that I live in such a society that if a person isn’t constantly on the go, then they are seen as lazy and unproductive. This mindset is what is making me feel like I should be ashamed of actually having my life together right now to the point that I can take a break and work on getting to know myself better.
I also think it’s pretty sad that It’s taken me 23 years to come to a point in which I feel like I have time to explore myself and discover what I like to do and what I can’t stand. For instance yesterday my boyfriend and I walked all around Boston exploring different neighborhoods, petting random dogs and taking pictures of things we didn’t even know existed in…..who knew there was a pond in the Boston Common? I’ve never really had a chance to step outside of Emerson’s library during grad school…..
So with this! I am dedicating June to myself! Which is fitting because it is LGBTQA (Alphabet soup) month. I’m taking a stand to be proud of myself and of the thinks of which I have accomplished so far in my life.
I’m going to live my Motto and take chances! Make some mistakes AND GET MESSY!!
(And No I did not reread this….so if there are mistakes. Take it with a grain of sand because this is the messy part of my life)